My douchebag thought of the day

Some people are just douchebags but you forget the level of their douchebaggery until they open up their mouths and confirm it for you.

Who knew an invasion of privacy could be so entertaining????

Today I was on Facebook reading through my friend’s status and found an interesting one about a website: spokeo.com. She was saying how to opt out of this site because it gives personal information such as credit score, occupation, photographs, and household information. I decided to check it out to see what it had to say about me. It was quite interesting….

1. I didn’t know that I was in my late 30s. Thank you spokeo.com for setting me straight obviously my birth certificate is pure lies.
2. I didn’t know that my house has no air conditioning or heating. I guess this winter I’ll need to use my fireplace.. oh wait according to them I don’t have that either.
3. Even though my house has no air conditioning, heating or fireplace it is worth $1M+. Better not tell the county tax assessor.
4. I have 6-7 people living in my household. That must be why when something breaks or goes missing no one does it. It is the extra people ruining it for the rest of us.

So if you treasure your privacy and don’t want everyone in the neighborhood knowing about your million dollar home in the ‘hood go to www.spokeo.com and remove your information.

Just a suburb of Chicago….

Today I got a survey phone call. It was recorded and all you could answer was yes, no or repeat. It was being conducted by BBCE. I tried to find out what BBCE was and had no luck.

The first question: “Is Obama doing a good job as President?”

The second question: “Do you feel parents in Chicago should be able to send their children to any school so they don’t have to go to inferior schools?”

Third question: “Would you support a tax increase so Chicago students can get up $6000 a year to attend the school of their choice regardless of religious affiliation?”

Fourth question: “Would you support Chicago students being able to go to the school of their choice without a tax increase?”

Then I was informed that if I wanted Chicago students and the rest of downstate Illinois (You gotta love how that gets slipped in at the end.) to get a quality education I needed to call Jehan Gordon’s office. So it is okay for the rest of us bastards to have bad schools but heaven forbid Chicago kids do. It is okay for our schools to under-perform but if Chicago is suffering we need action and we need it now. Why the fuck should I decide what is best for the douchebags in Chicago? I sure as shit don’t want them deciding what is best for me and my family. I guess it is just the joy of living in Illinois, Chicago’s largest suburb.

Too many things…

I made a promise to myself that I will start blogging more. Right now I have several blogs in the works. There are just too many things pissing me off right now and I need to focus on one at a time. Hopefully, tonight I can sit down, relax and let my fury out. Stay tuned.

Giving back

I know it has been quite a while but I’ve been having my ass kicked by life. My husband was laid off from a job he had more than ten years in June. Fortunately, he has found another one. Then my mother died suddenly and unexpectedly two days after my birthday.

Since my mom died, I’ve been just going through the motions of life. There are days when getting out of bed is an accomplishment equal to cleaning my house from top to bottom in a day. It has been like trying to control a runaway roller coaster…..impossible.

Lately the blog-gods have been pushing me to blog again. So now I’m trying to jump back into things. I’ve decided that if life is going to insist on give me the finger that I’m going to start giving it right back.

Adventures in Facebook land

We finally buckled and got facebook pages. The peer pressure was just too much. I must say I am surprised at the people who want to be my friend. I looked up people I considered friends and gave them a friendship request but I’m getting requests from people that I went to school with and didn’t even exchange 5 words with! So do you cave into the pressure and accept their request or do you ignore it? I think we should be able to have personalized options such as:

No, I’d rather pierce my clit with a knitting needle.

No, because your asshat removal surgery obviously was unsuccessful.

You wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire in school and now you want to be my “friend”?!

No, but I hope that STD you spread through out the school cleared up nicely.

Yes, because even though I can’t stand you, I don’t have the self esteem to turn you down. I guess I’d rather have 342 “friends” I hate with a passion than only 27 that I love dearly.

It is so interesting to see the high school politics playing out on the internet. Everyone wants shit loads of popular friends. No one has the balls to deny the “cool” people. Well I’m going to stick with the people I consider friends or want to be friends with and try not to get sucked into all the bullshit.

The WTFs of the day

I journeyed across the river to East Peoria today. First I went to Super Walmart. I was looking at cabinet hardware and wanted to see if they had anything. On my way back to the home improvement section there is a kiosk with little cups full of of gummy vitamins. No one is attending the kiosk and people are taking cups of vitamins at their leisure. WTF? Too much vitamins can make you sick. And vitamins that look like and taste like candy are just asking for trouble. Shit, when I go to the grocery store my kids have to get my permission before the woman will give them a sample of potato chips.

Walmart WTF #2
As I am wandering around Walmart I head for the book section. I enjoy books, especially at a discount. There I noticed something else that made me go “WTF?”. The books are divided by category, nothing new there, but I noticed that the inspirational section was quite white. There was only one book by a black author. Then next to that section there was a section of books that had black people on the cover and black authors. One of the authors I know to be a black preacher so why isn’t he in the inspirational section? Why does Walmart feel the need to segregate their books?

WTF #3
After Walmart I head for Lowe’s to return something and then go to Deals. I absolutely love dollar stores! I always find some treasure there. I must admit that I was disappointed when Deals changed their prices and now they have nothing over $5 but I’ll live. So I am wandering through Deals and I find these plastic wine goblets with monkeys on them! Some people know my love of monkeys and know a few inside bits involving monkeys so I had to get me and my best friend a monkey wine glass. Then I find a shirt marked down to $1. I had to get it because it said something about Lady Plumber’s Union and it had a plunger on it. You don’t find many shirts with plungers on them so you have to get while the getting is good! So I am feeling proud of myself and my odd finds. I grab a few more odds and ends and go pay. The cashier seemed really on the ball and friendly until I paid. My total was $6.27. I gave him $20.27. He typed it in the computer and it said to give me back $14. He just couldn’t seem to handle it. He finally manages to give me my $14 and I head out to the car. I sit down and put my seat belt on when I notice my fly is open. Not a little open, like a gaping wide mouthed grin! No wonder he couldn’t make change! At least I had panties on! For further reference the sight of pink panties gets boy cashiers all kinds of flustered.

So I headed home and now I am waiting to see what other adventures I will be having!

Dysfunctional people always know my phone number

Telephone tales:

Saturday night I was at my brother’s “surprise” party. When I got home there was a message from someone I went to grade school with on my answering machine. She asked if I still had this number and to call back. Then I noticed on the caller i.d. that she called 6 times in a 2 hour period! So now I am left to wonder what type of can of worms I’ll be opening up by calling her back. I’m unsure what to do. Usually I’m thrilled to catch up with an old friend and have done so recently but for some reason I’m really unsure about this one.

The other day I get a phone call asking for “Brandy”. I tell the person, I was unable to tell if it was a man or a woman, that there is no “Brandy” at this number. He/She said that he/she is sure that he/she butchered the name and would spell the last name in fear of butchering it. So she spells out my last name C-A-R-T-E-R. If you can’t pronounce Carter, I think a career in telemarketing isn’t for you until you use your paycheck to buy Hooked on Phonics. So tell he/she that the last name is correct but no “Brandy” here. Then he/she spells the first name and it is my husband’s first name. I tell her how to pronounce it and that he isn’t avaliable. So he/she starts his/her pitch about going back to school and continuing our education. I already spent 5 minutes teaching this moron how to read so I feel a bit committed to hear the speech. He/She asks me what I want to do with my life. I reply that I have no direction and don’t know. Then he/she hands me off to the supervisor to figure it out. Now I decide to make this fun. The supervisor, definately a woman, asks me what I want to do with myself and I tell her about my lack of direction, motivation, etc. Then she asks if I like various fields, business, accounting, sales, kids, etc. So I told her I like beer. I was told they couldn’t help me and to have a nice day.

Spring and Bullshit are in the Air

I’m tired of all the campaign bullshit of this season. Build the Block can bite my ass as far as I’m concerned. Maybe if they spent the money they use to mail me a flyer every other day and advertise to build the museum, the son of a bitch would be built already. They want the taxpayers to foot the bill for a plan that isn’t even concrete. If I went the bank and asked for a twenty year open line of credit, they would want a specific business plan not generalities and bullshit. They don’t have commitments from IMAX or even commitments for the rest of the funding. They don’t know how much admission will be but it will pay for itself. If I went to the bank with this load of sputum they would laugh in my face yet we are supposed to open our wallets and let them have at it? I think not.

I live in the East Bluff which is also part of the hot and heavy third district city council race. Tim Riggenbach has also showered me with flyers. One of my favorites said the Tim knows neighborhoods, he lives in one. Well, holy shit! I must be an auto mechanic because I own a car. I also must be an exotic dancer because I have a g-string. Don’t insult my intelligence. Just because I’m in the lowly part of the third district, south of War Memorial, doesn’t mean that I don’t have a brain in my head. I haven’t exactly seen him in my neck of the woods campaigning and his latest literature has quotes for friends and neighbors, the majority of which are North of War Memorial. I’m glad he expects the North half of the district to carry him but when the lowly peons in the Southern half need his help and we will, I expect him to treat us just as he would treat them.

Now I seen on the Peoria Chronicle that Build the Block and Tim Riggenbach both got there campaign mailers produced and sent from out of state. To be fair you have to include Patrick Nichting in that same bunch. His flyers were produced by Victory also. I’m all for calling bullshit but call bullshit on everyone not just a select few.

Enjoy your weekend and remember after April 7th all the it will all be over with. Hopefully the best candidate will win and not the one with the most money and flash. Please vote!

People Suck!

Anyone who has read my blog knows how I feel about douchebaggery. Douchebags should be smited without mercy. Unfortunately I have another tale of douchebaggery.

Death either brings out the best in people or the greedy, asshattery worse. My husband’s best friend from school has been in town while his mother has been dying. This is been very hard on him. His mom’s husband has been being a mega jackass. He’s been extremely concerned about the hospital bills he’ll be “stuck” with and has been verbal about it to the family and friends.

Since his mom has died, Brad’s friend has been cut out of any decisions about the arrangements for his mother’s funeral by his stepdad. Because of his (the stepdad’s) greedy/tightassery, the visitation is “by invitation only” (pretty much no one is invited) and there is going to be a short graveside service. The only way he could have gotten off any cheaper is if he ran down to Walmart and got a box of Hefty bags.

Even though holding my tongue will be like being punched in the taint, I will do it. I’m doing it for the rest of the family. They’ve been through enough suffering. They’ve lost a daughter, sister, mother, aunt, grandmother and friend. May she rest in peace.