We finally buckled and got facebook pages. The peer pressure was just too much. I must say I am surprised at the people who want to be my friend. I looked up people I considered friends and gave them a friendship request but I’m getting requests from people that I went to school with and didn’t even exchange 5 words with! So do you cave into the pressure and accept their request or do you ignore it? I think we should be able to have personalized options such as:
No, I’d rather pierce my clit with a knitting needle.
No, because your asshat removal surgery obviously was unsuccessful.
You wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire in school and now you want to be my “friend”?!
No, but I hope that STD you spread through out the school cleared up nicely.
Yes, because even though I can’t stand you, I don’t have the self esteem to turn you down. I guess I’d rather have 342 “friends” I hate with a passion than only 27 that I love dearly.
It is so interesting to see the high school politics playing out on the internet. Everyone wants shit loads of popular friends. No one has the balls to deny the “cool” people. Well I’m going to stick with the people I consider friends or want to be friends with and try not to get sucked into all the bullshit.
I journeyed across the river to East Peoria today. First I went to Super Walmart. I was looking at cabinet hardware and wanted to see if they had anything. On my way back to the home improvement section there is a kiosk with little cups full of of gummy vitamins. No one is attending the kiosk and people are taking cups of vitamins at their leisure. WTF? Too much vitamins can make you sick. And vitamins that look like and taste like candy are just asking for trouble. Shit, when I go to the grocery store my kids have to get my permission before the woman will give them a sample of potato chips.
Walmart WTF #2
As I am wandering around Walmart I head for the book section. I enjoy books, especially at a discount. There I noticed something else that made me go “WTF?”. The books are divided by category, nothing new there, but I noticed that the inspirational section was quite white. There was only one book by a black author. Then next to that section there was a section of books that had black people on the cover and black authors. One of the authors I know to be a black preacher so why isn’t he in the inspirational section? Why does Walmart feel the need to segregate their books?
WTF #3
After Walmart I head for Lowe’s to return something and then go to Deals. I absolutely love dollar stores! I always find some treasure there. I must admit that I was disappointed when Deals changed their prices and now they have nothing over $5 but I’ll live. So I am wandering through Deals and I find these plastic wine goblets with monkeys on them! Some people know my love of monkeys and know a few inside bits involving monkeys so I had to get me and my best friend a monkey wine glass. Then I find a shirt marked down to $1. I had to get it because it said something about Lady Plumber’s Union and it had a plunger on it. You don’t find many shirts with plungers on them so you have to get while the getting is good! So I am feeling proud of myself and my odd finds. I grab a few more odds and ends and go pay. The cashier seemed really on the ball and friendly until I paid. My total was $6.27. I gave him $20.27. He typed it in the computer and it said to give me back $14. He just couldn’t seem to handle it. He finally manages to give me my $14 and I head out to the car. I sit down and put my seat belt on when I notice my fly is open. Not a little open, like a gaping wide mouthed grin! No wonder he couldn’t make change! At least I had panties on! For further reference the sight of pink panties gets boy cashiers all kinds of flustered.
So I headed home and now I am waiting to see what other adventures I will be having!
Telephone tales:
Saturday night I was at my brother’s “surprise” party. When I got home there was a message from someone I went to grade school with on my answering machine. She asked if I still had this number and to call back. Then I noticed on the caller i.d. that she called 6 times in a 2 hour period! So now I am left to wonder what type of can of worms I’ll be opening up by calling her back. I’m unsure what to do. Usually I’m thrilled to catch up with an old friend and have done so recently but for some reason I’m really unsure about this one.
The other day I get a phone call asking for “Brandy”. I tell the person, I was unable to tell if it was a man or a woman, that there is no “Brandy” at this number. He/She said that he/she is sure that he/she butchered the name and would spell the last name in fear of butchering it. So she spells out my last name C-A-R-T-E-R. If you can’t pronounce Carter, I think a career in telemarketing isn’t for you until you use your paycheck to buy Hooked on Phonics. So tell he/she that the last name is correct but no “Brandy” here. Then he/she spells the first name and it is my husband’s first name. I tell her how to pronounce it and that he isn’t avaliable. So he/she starts his/her pitch about going back to school and continuing our education. I already spent 5 minutes teaching this moron how to read so I feel a bit committed to hear the speech. He/She asks me what I want to do with my life. I reply that I have no direction and don’t know. Then he/she hands me off to the supervisor to figure it out. Now I decide to make this fun. The supervisor, definately a woman, asks me what I want to do with myself and I tell her about my lack of direction, motivation, etc. Then she asks if I like various fields, business, accounting, sales, kids, etc. So I told her I like beer. I was told they couldn’t help me and to have a nice day.
I’m tired of all the campaign bullshit of this season. Build the Block can bite my ass as far as I’m concerned. Maybe if they spent the money they use to mail me a flyer every other day and advertise to build the museum, the son of a bitch would be built already. They want the taxpayers to foot the bill for a plan that isn’t even concrete. If I went the bank and asked for a twenty year open line of credit, they would want a specific business plan not generalities and bullshit. They don’t have commitments from IMAX or even commitments for the rest of the funding. They don’t know how much admission will be but it will pay for itself. If I went to the bank with this load of sputum they would laugh in my face yet we are supposed to open our wallets and let them have at it? I think not.
I live in the East Bluff which is also part of the hot and heavy third district city council race. Tim Riggenbach has also showered me with flyers. One of my favorites said the Tim knows neighborhoods, he lives in one. Well, holy shit! I must be an auto mechanic because I own a car. I also must be an exotic dancer because I have a g-string. Don’t insult my intelligence. Just because I’m in the lowly part of the third district, south of War Memorial, doesn’t mean that I don’t have a brain in my head. I haven’t exactly seen him in my neck of the woods campaigning and his latest literature has quotes for friends and neighbors, the majority of which are North of War Memorial. I’m glad he expects the North half of the district to carry him but when the lowly peons in the Southern half need his help and we will, I expect him to treat us just as he would treat them.
Now I seen on the Peoria Chronicle that Build the Block and Tim Riggenbach both got there campaign mailers produced and sent from out of state. To be fair you have to include Patrick Nichting in that same bunch. His flyers were produced by Victory also. I’m all for calling bullshit but call bullshit on everyone not just a select few.
Enjoy your weekend and remember after April 7th all the it will all be over with. Hopefully the best candidate will win and not the one with the most money and flash. Please vote!
Anyone who has read my blog knows how I feel about douchebaggery. Douchebags should be smited without mercy. Unfortunately I have another tale of douchebaggery.
Death either brings out the best in people or the greedy, asshattery worse. My husband’s best friend from school has been in town while his mother has been dying. This is been very hard on him. His mom’s husband has been being a mega jackass. He’s been extremely concerned about the hospital bills he’ll be “stuck” with and has been verbal about it to the family and friends.
Since his mom has died, Brad’s friend has been cut out of any decisions about the arrangements for his mother’s funeral by his stepdad. Because of his (the stepdad’s) greedy/tightassery, the visitation is “by invitation only” (pretty much no one is invited) and there is going to be a short graveside service. The only way he could have gotten off any cheaper is if he ran down to Walmart and got a box of Hefty bags.
Even though holding my tongue will be like being punched in the taint, I will do it. I’m doing it for the rest of the family. They’ve been through enough suffering. They’ve lost a daughter, sister, mother, aunt, grandmother and friend. May she rest in peace.
Today I have the pleasure of dealing with our clusterfuck of a health insurance company. Dealing with them is like lighting your pubes on fire and trying to tear them out one by one with a tweezers before they burn down to the skin – excruciating and impossible.
My son was refered to a pediatric GI specialist in January. Before we went I called the PPO phone number on my insurance card to be sure he was in network. I was assured that he was. So I take my son for his consult and resulting upper endoscopy. I pay my copay and think I’m good to go. Yesterday I get my explaination of benefits letter. The first thing I notice is that it says my copay is the out of network amount not the in network amount. The second thing is that my copay wasn’t even applied to the bill. The final and my favorite thing is that after they copay they will pay 55% fo the balance. This is my favorite because they pay 80% for in network and 60% for out of network so where the hell did 55% come from?
I understand that times are tough and everyone is trying to make a buck but son of a bitch! Our premiums go up every year, our coverage goes down and other than check ups for the kids and the rare illness we don’t use our coverage. I have the pleasure of paying for everyone else’s chronic illnesses but when the occasion comes that we need to use our coverage they try to bend us over like a two dollar whore.
I’m sure if I added up all our premiums paid versus what they actually pay out I’m sure they come out way ahead. We are over a barrel because should the unfortunate illness or injury happen and we were uninsured we would be completely and utterly donkey fucked.
Hopefully this will be the last time I have to make mention of this but what the fuck? When I first started blogging there were people who disagreed but it was all good natured and left in the blog-o-sphere. Here’s my fictional example:
Comment 1: I disagree with you. You are a mega douche.
Comment 2: Comment 1 has his head way up his ass. This is the way it should be…….
Blog Author: I think you are both cheese covered nut sacks. So when are we all getting together for a drink? 
Now we can’t even bring up a simple get-together without a blow up, everyone gathering allies, and stock piling ammunition in the form of every stupid thing ever said by a person on the world wide web. I don’t care where you post, who you are or think you are or who your friends are. I am quite capable of forming my own opinions about people and situations without needing the approval of others.
Who am I to say what someone should or shouldn’t blog about? It is their blog. I don’t agree with every blogger or post but you know what? No one is putting a gun to my head and forcing me to read or comment. If Peoria AntiPundit wants to throw a few shit bombs at people who am I to stop him? I must admit sometimes I quite enjoy throwing the old shit bomb myself and understand that I am accountable for every shit bomb I throw. If Billy Dennis wants to turn the Peoria Pundit into the Aaron Schock fan club that is his business. Just because I don’t care that Aaron took a shit today and that it had corn in it doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone who does. What happen to agreeing to disagree and going on with life? Please don’t make this crude, cussing, self-righteous, malcontent hippy have to be the mature one ever again! 
I’m not getting in the middle of this blogger fighting bullshit but when my fellow resident of the “kids’ table” at the blogger bashes is the voice of reason, things must be pretty bad!
Obviously I have a new theme again. At first I was a bit pissed. Everytime there is a theme I like it is removed and I want my theme to be as unique as I am.;) So when I see the theme Billy picked for me I was underwhelmed. Whoo Hoo, pink! How original! Then I start to scroll down and notice the chick on the chaise lounge with a drink in hand. Okay that’s a little more like me. The final decision breaker was the name. I log in and it says that my theme is Barbie gone bad. Sweet! I feel I can keep it now.
Last night my youngest started to get sick. He started to puke and have the shits. I can’t count the number of pairs of underpants he went through because he “gambled and lost”. Thank goodness I had a laundry basket full of clean underpants at his disposal.
The youngest has only gotten sick somewhere other than a toilet or a puke bucket once in his life. When he was a bit older than one, he was taking a nap on his back and made a “puke fountain” for everyone to enjoy. Last night he broke his streak. I had sorted my laundry in the bathroom and had it all piled up. I usually take it downstairs to the wash machine but I got sidetracked talking on the phone and it didn’t make that crucial lap in its laundry journey. My son is in the bathroom sitting on the toilet with a garbage can between his knees and I am confident that I can go to bed. He’ll just grab his puke bucket and head for bed when he is done. I get up this morning my usual joyous self and head for the bathroom. My first step in puke squishes between my toes. EWWWW! So I sit down and fail to look first. I ended up with both ass cheeks cover in puke. Then I look around the room. There is puke everywhere! I think he hit every single piece of dirty laundry in the room! He got the bath mat and even managed to get it under the bath mat. Nice to know the child has talent! Maybe someday this story will become as infamous as his father’s “diarrhea story”!
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