Tuesday night is the blogger bash at Donnelly’s in Peoria at 6:00. As long as my babysitting doesn’t fall through or some other child related disaster I will be there with Brad. I hope to see everyone and meet some of you that I have not had the pleasure of meeting.

I was reading the Journal Star online and found Phil Luciano’s column to hit home being as we deal with our own middle of the road walking morons daily.  Then I thought of a solution that will take care of the issue.  Has anyone seen the movie Death Race 2000?  I think we need to have our own “Death Race” through the streets of Peoria.  We can have our own point system, a race course that changes daily, trophies, endorsement, etc.  It would spur tourism and we could possibly get a deal with ESPN to have them televise our “races”.  Think of all the tax revenue that could be coming in.  And more importantly it would get these kids, who are equivilant to anal gangrene, out of the streets permanently.  I see it as win-win.

Since the city of Peoria and the Police department in their infinite has decided to drop the jaywalking tickets in exchange for sitting through an assembly, it is making my job as a responsible parent harder. With children thinking they can whine their way out of punishment I am now having to become more creative in the way I discipline my boys. I thought hey why not apply my new proven punishment to this situation. Now when my kids start acting up and threatening to call the ACLU (see what the protesters taught our kids), I make them sit in a chair and listen to the ABBA song “Dancing Queen”. I think the whole assembly should be a tribute to ABBA. “Dancing Queen”, “Waterloo” and if they really are defiant “Fernando”. I’m sure the NAACP with say that it is cruel and unusual punishment. But if it is good enough for my kids, surely, in the name of equality it is good enough for these kids.

Tonight was the Cub Scout pack meeting. We are having a winter camp out so all the information about the camp out was being distributed. On the flyer with the when, where and what to bring it was divided into sections. There was the Items Needed section, the Optional Items (only if you have) and Items NOT allowed. Last year there were alot of sugared up kids who brought things that have no business on a camp out so the list is to help draw the line. I was reading the list during the meeting and under the Optional Items (only if you have) section it had listed walking stick, compass, flashlight, and BALLS! I was trying to contain my laughter. I showed the flyer to Brad after the meeting. He told the scoutmaster’s wife that he won’t be bringing his balls because I won’t let him have them that weekend! She was still laughing when we left!

Today I got a phone call from my neighbor.  She was crying and told me one of her beloved cats got sick last night and required an emergency trip to the vet this morning.  The cat was too sick to help so she had to put it down.  She then asks me if I have any room in my freezer.  I was on my way out the door so I told her I would move things around and see what I could do when I got home.  I get in the truck and my husband asks what is going on.  I told him that Mary’s cat died and she wants to know if we have any space in our freezer.  Brad freaked out.  He said that a freezer is for food not pets.  He said she is welcome to put her food in our freezer but not her cat. 

We get home from our excursion to the library and I call Mary.  I told her that Brad said no cat in the freezer.  She was upset so I told her she was welcome to put her food in our freezer so she could fit the cat in her own freezer.  She said that was what she meant in the first place, didn’t she tell me that?  We had a good chuckle over the  misunderstanding.  I hope it helped lighten her spirits a bit.  I am really sorry about Jory and I know she will be missed.

Last night we went out to Sommer Park for the hot dog roast and hayrack ride with the Cub Scout pack. I was dreading going because I sneeze pretty much all year long and I was unsure what the exposure to hay would do to my sinuses. We had a pretty good time.

First we got our hot dogs and roasted them as a photographer from the Journal Star took pictures. He said they may be in the paper today and online. We don’t get the paper so I am unsure if my kids are in it but I did find a picture of two of them online. The baked beans were excellent. My husband doesn’t like baked beans and he even thought they were good. Then it was time for smores. I don’t care for smores so I sat with our oldest while Brad and the other two roasted their marshmallows. My youngest got tired of waiting for a spot to roast his marshmallows so he put his smore together cold and ate it that way.

After the food, most of the scouts gathered on the playground as the adults tried to get everyone organized so we could go on our ride as a group. My boys were on the tire swing being spun around as they were swinging yelling, “Make us puke! Make us puke!” That is all we need is my kids puking on the hayrack. There were too many of us to go on one ride so we had to split up. Our kids were mad we made them go with us instead of their friends but hey, we are fun too! My husband was kind enough to point out the giant “land mine” left by one of the horses right by were we exit the hayrack. At least we all missed it. All and all it was a pretty good time.

BTW: my blog is acting up so I couldn’t link to the picture of my kids. So you can play guess which kids belong to East Bluff Barbie, if you go to the Journal Star and check them out!

This morning I accessed my blog and found to have a comment in moderation. Sometimes my blog will just throw a comment in there that doesn’t need to be so I wanted to check it out. I had a huge comment of spam. The things they grouped together were kind of entertaining and almost sounded like a to do list. Here is how the spammer feels I should spend my day (listed in the order they appeared in the comment minus a few repeats):

1. Go get my payday loan. I have stuff to buy so that is important.

2. Purchase my discount airline tickets. That must be why I need my payday loan. I need a vacation!

3. You can’t go on a vacation without your cialis. Since I am not a man maybe I am just supposed to distribute it to whoever I think might need a “leg up” on that situation.

4. Purchase my phentermine pills. After my vacation and having to pay the interest on my payday loan I’ll need to save money and since these little pills will give me energy and decrease my appetite they sound like a winner. My grocery bill will never be lower and my waist will never be slimmer.

The parting words of my lovely spammer were “So interesting there was that I fell asleep…”. I don’t know if I should be flattered that it was interesting or pissed that it put them to sleep. Oh well, off to get my payday loan!

Update! I just got another comment from the exact same spammer. I need to add to my list getting my viagra and my xanax. I wouldn’t think I would need the viagra considering I just got the cialis. I’m sure the xanax is for the anxiety I’m going to feel when I see how much my payday loan really is going to cost me and for when my heart is beating so fast it feels like it could explode from all the phentermine pills! The spammer did call me a “Genius” this time so he can’t be all bad!

Once again, Kevin Lyons negotiating skills have me in awe. The brick throwing asshat received a 22 year sentence for arson and killing someone with a patio block and after his “good time” he will probably only serve 10 years. Other than the obvious, you might wonder why this pisses me off so bad. Here is why:

In the summer of ‘06 the gangsta wanna be who shot a guy in the head behind the Mc Donalds on Knoxville was on house arrest 6 houses away from our house. This upstanding citizen spent his house arrest selling drugs from a lawn chair in the middle of the sidewalk, getting visits from his other thug buddies and bringing a criminal element into our neighborhood. One of the final straws was when this fine citizen was running down the sidewalk (at least he wasn’t in the middle of the street!) shooting at a car that was trying to get away after screwing him in the drug deal. We banded together as a neighborhood and put pressure on the landlord, the family and the police to get this guy out of our neighborhood. After all this he was able to plea bargain and received a sentence of only 8 years! Another slap in the face was that he got time served for being on house arrest. So selling drugs and trying to bring down my neighborhood will help him get out of prison earlier. With his day for day “good” time now he will be out in 2 and a half years!

Since I currently have a raging case of PMS I think I will just start taking the law into my own hands. With my clean record and Kevin Lyons’ plea deals I am sure I’ll only get probation!

The health department is issuing a health warning for the city of Peoria. Many of the teenagers in Peoria have been found to have a sidewalk allergy. This allergy makes them avoid sidewalks at all costs, with the exception of picking up their “medicinal” marijuana from the some guy on the corner.
How can you tell if a teenager has sidewalk allergies? Here are some helpful clues:

Walking in the middle of the street even though there is a perfectly good sidewalk.

Walking slower than usual. This mainly happens when a vehicle approaches. We theorize that some how vehicles aggrevate the allergy and make approaching the sidewalk that much more daunting.

Temporary fits of Tourette’s Syndrome. These poor teens will start spouting obscenities at anyone who tries to suggest they walk somewhere else.

Massive fits of douchebaggery.

So little is known about sidewalk allergy. If someone would be willing to sacrifice the hood of their car so we can obtain one of these teens to study hopefully one day we can find a cure.

Today I read the Journal Star online, like I do most mornings, and chose to comment on the article about the ex-police officer busted for soliciting sex from an undercover officer. My comment was a reply to someone who stated that it was unfair the officer got fired for propositioning an undercover officer when there is so much infidelity in the Peoria Police Department. I replied to the person that he wasn’t fired for soliciting sex, he was fired for associating with a known drug dealer. When I reread the comments later this afternoon the comment about infidelity is gone and so is my reply. I didn’t feel this person’s comment, although ignorant of the facts stated in the article, met the standards that warranted its removal. I have seen such ugly rants about all sorts of things that are allowed to remain but questioning an officer’s fidelity is grounds for removal. No wonder no one really takes the Journal Star seriously anymore!