Medical Alert
The health department is issuing a health warning for the city of Peoria. Many of the teenagers in Peoria have been found to have a sidewalk allergy. This allergy makes them avoid sidewalks at all costs, with the exception of picking up their “medicinal” marijuana from the some guy on the corner.
How can you tell if a teenager has sidewalk allergies? Here are some helpful clues:
Walking in the middle of the street even though there is a perfectly good sidewalk.
Walking slower than usual. This mainly happens when a vehicle approaches. We theorize that some how vehicles aggrevate the allergy and make approaching the sidewalk that much more daunting.
Temporary fits of Tourette’s Syndrome. These poor teens will start spouting obscenities at anyone who tries to suggest they walk somewhere else.
Massive fits of douchebaggery.
So little is known about sidewalk allergy. If someone would be willing to sacrifice the hood of their car so we can obtain one of these teens to study hopefully one day we can find a cure.
This brings me back to my previous comments in one of your past blogs…
Let’s go bowling!
What prompted this blog Karen?
Manual students were ticketed for jaywalking after they were told by faculty that they needed to stay out of the street or be issued a ticket. Now there are cries of racism. My kids came home and told me they would be ticketed if they walked in the street and they are in grade school and our grade school is no where near Manual.
Just keep going…. They’ll move eventually.
Sooner or later one or more of these knuckleheads will end up dead or seriously hurt because of their disrespect for oncoming motorists. Sidewalks are meant for pedestrians, hmmmmm?!?! Does that make any sense to you????? I’m fed up with all of this so I just don’t slow down. Keep your speed under or at the posted speed limit and continue on your path. If they don’t move, then may GOD help them. It makes me sick to have to resort to this but, what else are we supposed to do? If you slow down or have to come to a stop and say anything to them, you’d better watch your back because you’re bound to get shot or carjacked or punched in the face by M. Little.LOL
Send these kids to California! I learned real fast to get the hell out of the way or get ran over!
The same people who are squealing racism because these “darling youths” were ticketed would also be the first to cry and whine and sue everyone if one these kids got hit by a car. As a species, we are sorely in need of more natural selection.
I agree with “idonotknowme”!!
Idiots lkes these are in my away going to and from my own blasted house… Alas you can’t fix stupid…
The allergy stems from a disease called “Stupid.” Unfortunately, medical studies suggest it’s very difficult to fix Stupid. Moreover, the condition is highly contagious in urban settings. As a result, most doctors recommend that the uninfected should flee the city and seek a more rarified environment, away from the purveyors of this common ailment.