Yesterday one of my sons got off the bus and told me that a certain kid gave him the finger. This is nothing new. There is a core group of bullies on the bus and my son is one of their targets. Then my son tell me how one of the bullies had a glass bottle that he so graciously gave to another bully to try to break over my son’s head. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. My son has already been assaulted and threatened but this really crossed the line.

I put in a call to the assistant principal but she was in a meeting so I was forced to leave a message. This morning I decided I was going to call the transportation office to find out why there is no bus monitor on this bus. The man that I talked to provided me with various excuses. The first was that there are no special ed kids on the bus. Well, he didn’t know that he was talking to a mother with a special ed kid on that very bus and knows of at least 3 other special ed kids. Then he told me they weren’t special ed enough, according to the state of Illinois, to require a monitor. He said he didn’t have a monitor to spare anyway. So I laid everything out for him with out all the bullshit. I told him that he was tell me that there was no money for a monitor and that was tough. He told me that he didn’t say that. He told me how it was all the state’s fault because they won’t provide the funding and how a bus driver is perfectly capable of driving a bus and disciplining more than sixty kids without help. I then told him what exactly had been happening to my child on the bus and he already knew which mom I was (there was a particular incident that is too disgusting to forget). Then he explained to me how there are far worse busses in the district and they don’t get a monitor. Now he is justifying bad behavior by pointiing out worse behavior and he expects that to pacify me? He told me all I can do is contact my state legislature and beg for money so my kid can have safe ride to and from school.

In a nut shell, district 150 can come up will money to buy a house that border the park and demolish them when they don’t get their way but money for a bus monitor for elementary school students is out of the question. Thank you district 150. I thought my opinion of you could not get any less but you lowered the bar and lived up to your shitty reputation.

I read a story yesterday on WEEK.com about dogs disappearing in Peoria. People are shocked to think that dog fighting may be going on in Peoria. Really? This is a surprise?

I have lived in the East Bluff for 9 years. You can’t swing a dead rat in the East Bluff without hitting a pitbull. Yes, there are loving responsible owners who take care of their dogs and don’t train them to be fighters. Then there are these people who walk their pitbull with weights attached to its collar. Anyone who thinks this is “doggy bling” needs to have their head examined. I have seen people who ride bikes in front of a pitbull to piss it off and have it drag a cement block behind it as it chases the bike. Not exactly training out of the book of Cesar Millan.

Dog fighting is a reality in Peoria. Most people want to bury their heads in the sand because it isn’t done openly or in the “good” end of town. This doesn’t make it exist any less. Once again the city needs to pull its head out of its ass and face reality before this is as out of control as the rest of the crime in Peoria.

This is a little tale that was told to me. I had to promise to change the names in order to blog about it. Enjoy!

Donnette is on the phone with her friend. Donnette has been having issues with her hearing as she has been aging but has done nothing about it. While on the phone Donnette’s friend mentions that she bought a 3 pack of douches and she was not happy with the first one she used and is stuck with the rest. Donnette’s friend then asks Donnette if she uses douches. Donnette replies “Sure I do but sometimes I use paper plates.” Donnette’s friend is laughing uncontrollably. When she composes herself she asks Donnette what she thought she said. Donnette thought that her friend asked if she used DISHES. The friend explaining that she was actually asking about DOUCHES. They both had a great laugh as did I when I was told. Now hopefully Donnette will look into a Belltone!

I turned on the TV this afternoon to be greeted with the fact that Heath Ledger was dead at the age of 28 of a suspected drug overdose. The authorities are unsure if it was accidental or if it was a suicide.

First, let me make this clear: I don’t give a shit about celebrities!! I don’t care where they live, what they do, who they date or what they wear. I am cringing at the fact that, more than likely, the rest of the month’s news coverage will be dedicated to Heath Ledger’s untimely death.

Now let me get on my bitch box and tell you why this pisses me off. Heath Ledger was not the train wreck Anna Nicole Smith was or Britney Spears is. In fact the Associated Press has already written Britney Spears’ obituary. This is something that is usually reserved for celebrities over the age of 60. Heath Ledger had access to resources most people don’t. I understand money doesn’t buy happiness but he had enough to pay for therapy, if he was depressed and this was a suicide. If he was abusing drugs he could afford to take the time off of work and go to rehab. Average Americans can’t afford these things, especially if they don’t have health insurance or have poor health coverage. It just pissed me off that someone that had the ability to save himself may have chosen not to when other people who want to help themselves can’t.

I was watching TV this morning and a story caught my attention. In St. Charles, MO the city council is proposing an ordinance to ban swearing, table dancing, drinking contests and profane music in bars. What the fuck? Are bars a family place where we need to worry about young, tender ears being offended? HELL NO! What is a bar without some drunk bitch dancing her heart out on top of a table? Damn, boring is what it is! No drinking contest? What about contests that are alcohol inspired? The “how high can you piss contest” (usually gentlemen only but you never know) may be a thing of the past. What about “how many tequila fueled cartwheels can you do?” (Not many after 2 margaritas and about 4 shots). These timeless institutions may be a thing of the past! No profane music? Now where am I going to hear songs about not wanting no “Short Dick Man”?
Let’s all show our solidarity with the good bar going folks in St. Charles by having a drinking contest, dancing on a table while listening to a profane song and then swearing when our drunk ass inevitably fall off the table!

Eleven years ago today I was up at Methodist scared out of my mind getting ready to give birth to my first son. I was trying for the natural childbirth but changed my mind after the good contractions started. I had one epidural that didn’t take. They gave me my test dose for my second one when I announced to my husband that I had to push. He got the nurse and low and behold I was ready to push with only my test dose of epidural! My son was born with the cord wrapped around his next and was whisked off to the nursery.
Even though we already agreed on a name, my husband wanted to name our first born Elvis since he was born on Elvis Presley’s birthday. I said absolutely not. He countered with have you ever heard of an Elvis that wasn’t famous (Elvis Presley, Elvis Costello)? I said you don’t generally hear of Elvis the service station attendant unless he goes nuts and kills a bunch of people.
A week after he was born we finally got to take home our 8 pound 1 ounce bundle of joy who, by the way, is not named Elvis!
Happy Birthday Bubba*!

*Bubba is a nickname and not our chosen name for our child

This primary season is so confusing with all the choices, Democrat and Republican. I guess we’ll have to use some good old fashioned American “logic” to decide who to vote for.

Warren Buffett has came out in support of Hillary Clinton. Jimmy Buffett sings “Margaritaville”. I love margaritas. Hillary also has a vagina (I think) and I have a vagina. I guess I need to vote for Hillary.
Oh, but wait, Barak Obama doesn’t have a vagina but he has Oprah’s “va jay jay” supporting him and she tells me what books are good so she must know what she is talking about.
Wait a minute! Chuck Norris does martial arts. He is supporting Mike Huckabee. I guess the nunchuck enthusiast in me must vote Huckabee.
Hold on, Fred Thompson was on Law and Order. I’ve watched it on TV. Fred Thompson needs my vote.
But who can forget 9/11? Our world changed then. A vote for anyone other than Rudy Giuliani would be letting the terrorists win.
Dennis Kucinich seen a UFO. I love Star Wars! Maybe it traveled from a galaxy far, far away. I guess it is Kucinich all the way!

Whoever you end up voting for, please make an informed decision. Don’t let celebrities or a political party make the decision for you. Don’t be the ignorant sheep that some politicians take us for. Some of us are tired of, in the words of South Park, the choice between a giant douche and a turd sandwich!

BTW- I don’t have any party affiliation and I am not supporting any candidate currently. I am an equal opportunity offender.