Wednesday, I was eating peanuts and I found one that looked like a penis. It was complete - cock and balls. I, of course, thought it was hilarious and put it on the kitchen window sill to show my husband. I started thinking that if people can put tortillas, grilled cheese sandwiches and pretzels on ebay that look like Jesus or the Virgin Mary and get big bucks then there has to be someone out there that would appreciate my penis peanut. It could be considered an “objet d’art”. The perfect piece for the penis enthusiast’s collection.

My husband comes home. I show him my treasure. He is not as amused as I am but concurs that it looks like a cock and balls. I put my penis peanut back on the window sill and wait for the kids to get home. The kids come home (I didn’t show them!) and I go get on the internet for about a half an hour. I go back downstairs and my peanut is missing! I hollar for my oldest son and he admits he ate my peanut. I am completely devastated. There go the millions I’m absolutely sure it would have fetched on ebay! I guess we’ll have to go back to funding the old 401K!

BTW - I am really disturbed by the fact that my 11 year old son would eat something he found sitting on a window sill without knowing from where it came.