This weekend I was sick, again. Friday night I woke up with what I thought was evil indigestion. I took some tums and tried to go back to sleep. I was awakened by the dreaded bowel rumble (some of you know more what I am talking about than others! ) and made a mad dash for the bathroom. Once again, still being an optimist, I think that I just ate something that disagreed with me. After about the sixth trip to the bathroom I resign myself to the fact that I am sick again. Then the youngest gets up and throws up. Now it is confirmed. No more denial. The stomach flu is back.

I get my son situated on the couch with a puke bucket. Being that he is only seven he hasn’t quite mastered “knowing when to hold’em and knowing when to fold’em” so almost every trip to the bathroom ended with him needing new underwear. He used up all the underwear in his drawer but fortunately I had just done laundry and I had some in the laundry basket in the dining room. By now it is about 6 am Saturday and I have had about an hour of sleep total. My youngest is in our only bathroom and the rumbling is starting again. I hear the toilet flush and the call for fresh underwear. I am so thankful until I find out that my oldest got up and slipped in there. Curses!!! I go to retrieve the underwear from the laundry basket when suddenly I have to throw up. The bathroom is occupied so I make the quick mental calculations of which is closer - the puke bucket in the living room or the garbage can in the kitchen. Kitchen wins. So I throw the underwear in my son’s general direction and run. As I am running my socks start to slide across the floor. If I cannot stop I am either going to hit the wall and puke on myself or fall on my ass and puke on myself. Either option isn’t pretty. Fortunately, I stopped in front of the garbage can. I unleash the contents of my stomach and feel a little relief. My oldest son walks into the kitchen blissfully ignorant to what has gone on all night long and says “My brother doesn’t want me to talk about peanuts.” I turn to him, still hugging the garbage can, and tell him that I don’t want him to talk about peanuts either.

I ended up missing the blogger bash. Call me crazy but I didn’t feel pajamas, a bathroom bathrobe (wasn’t that Freudian!) and a puke bucket was proper attire for Panache. Brad and our friend Todd went in my place. I am pretty sure everyone managed well without me. Hopefully next time!

There was a little glitch with my blog that was totally out of my control so I was unable to log in and my content disappeared. Luckily the Blogfather was able to get things up and running for me and most of my content returned (my last blog is gone). I’m sure there has been some speculation, based on the phone calls and emails, I received about what exactly happened to me. I am going to set the record straight right now. I did not quit blogging! I also haven’t:

died because the city actually plowed the SNOW ROUTE that I live on.

been blinded by a “goat”.

been arrested for arson.

decided to live my life as East Bluff Ken.

been trying to grow a beard so I can have my own Hairy Housewives site.

joined a cult.

been seeking Yoda so I may learn the ways of the force to become a Jedi.

decided to go on the road with the band across the street.

gone into business freezing dead cats.

been abducted by aliens so I could go live on their spaceship with Elvis.

Thanks for all the concern. It is nice to feel loved!! Don’t worry, I will be getting my bitch on again shortly!!

Bloggers seem to be clearing out lately.  First Scott Janz and now the Peoria AntiPundit is calling it quits.  I can only speculate the reasons why:

Is Scott Janz going undercover for Code Enforcement?  Did they woo him away with promises of not riding his ass like a Harley and letting him live in peace?

Is the AntiPundit Barbara Van Auken’s new personal assistant?  Will I be seeing him hanging ornamental lighting and arbors all over her district at the taxpayers’ expense?

Whatever the reasons they are leaving, they will be missed and I wish them the best of luck in whatever they do in the future.  Hopefully we will continue to see them around the blogs.  They are welcome anytime on mine.  Best wishes!