For anyone looking to relocate and a dream job, I may have found something:

WINSOR, An 88-year-old man is offering $14 an hour for an unusual twice-a-week job — drinking buddy at a Winsor, England, pub.

I’ll gladly drink beer for $14 an hour. Hell, I’ll drink beer for $5 an hour. I could be onto something. Maybe a new business. They have the people who come into a senior’s home and keep them company and do errand/chores. I could take seniors out bar hoppin’. Oh, I love it when a plan comes together.

I was watching TV this morning and a story caught my attention. In St. Charles, MO the city council is proposing an ordinance to ban swearing, table dancing, drinking contests and profane music in bars. What the fuck? Are bars a family place where we need to worry about young, tender ears being offended? HELL NO! What is a bar without some drunk bitch dancing her heart out on top of a table? Damn, boring is what it is! No drinking contest? What about contests that are alcohol inspired? The “how high can you piss contest” (usually gentlemen only but you never know) may be a thing of the past. What about “how many tequila fueled cartwheels can you do?” (Not many after 2 margaritas and about 4 shots). These timeless institutions may be a thing of the past! No profane music? Now where am I going to hear songs about not wanting no “Short Dick Man”?
Let’s all show our solidarity with the good bar going folks in St. Charles by having a drinking contest, dancing on a table while listening to a profane song and then swearing when our drunk ass inevitably fall off the table!

I have never been so glad to have put my kids on the bus as I was this morning. We have had a full weekend and I am ready for a break. Saturday, Brad and I attended my friend’s wedding while the boys went to InPlay for a birthday party. The birthday boy’s mom and grandma were kind enough to let all three of my boys attend the party and let them come to their house afterward so we wouldn’t miss the wedding reception. I thank them for that.
Sunday, was basement cleaning day. All three of the boys got in trouble Friday so we made a deal that they got to go to InPlay only if they helped me clean the basement. About an hour and a half into the cleaning I was starting to wonder who was really being punished them or me. By the time four o’clock rolled around and I didn’t have as much done as I wanted and the boys were bickering and underfoot. I called my husband and told him that I need a bottle of watermelon Boone’s Farm. He came to the rescue with not one bottle but two and they were cold so none of that pesky waiting for them to get cold in the freezer. I was pretty much ready for bed by nine thirty.
Monday, I was sore as I could be from my basement adventure Sunday. I thought that I really should finish but I figured that I will work on it today before the trash comes tomorrow. The boys were at each other again. I was cursing Christopher Columbus most of the day and thankful that I had another bottle of Boone’s farm for after the kids went to bed. I ended up too tired for my Boone’s and just went to bed. Whoo, Whoo What a weekend!

I haven’t posted in a while because we have been busy. Labor day weekend my husband decided to put a new roof on the garage because the old one was leaking. The game plan was to rent a 3 ton dumpster and clean out the garage and take the old roof off and replace it. When I called about the dumpster they didn’t have the size we needed so I upgraded, figuring that we will just clean out the basement and attic while we are at it since we have the dumpster a week. The dumpster is delivered on Friday and after work we start on cleaning out the garage. We have a single car garage that was absolutely full of shit that my husband brought home from work because he couldn’t believe they were throwing out a perfectly good (fill in the blank). We didn’t even get the garage completely empty because if we had we wouldn’t have had room for the roof in it.

The next day Brad starts taking off the old roof and it turns into a bigger job than expected so he calls his father who lives about 2 and a half hours away and he offers to come on Sunday with his brother and 6 year old nephew. Now I am trying to get my house company ready and help Brad. The phone rings at 6 and it is his brother. He says that he is just getting in the car and going to be here in a few hours. Now I am really cleaning! So his brother arrives and we are sitting outside with the neighbors and we decided it was time for an alcohol run. Us gals decided to drink old school and drink Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill. While the men went for beer and rum. I wasn’t feeling great so I only had a tumbler of Boone’s while my husband and the other men are drinking rum shots and beer. My husband was a shade on the shitfaced side. He spent the morning in the bathroom waiting for his dad and nephew to get here.

The next day Brad and his family are on the roof and he is feeling like hell but they got most of the work done so it was time to celebrate. This time us ladies had daiquiris and the men had their beer and rum. We remembered last Labor Day weekend when it was the women who were shitfaced and the men sat back and laughed. There is one important life lesson from last Labor Day that bears repeating - When having a drunken cartwheel contest, there are no winners unless you count the person who pukes last!

We finally have a water tight garage and I finally think I am getting myself back into the swing of things.

Update-  I forgot about the latest round of “the game” that was played this weekend.  My poor neighbor, Ana got a triple play when she walked out the backdoor and her husband was in my driveway with his pants down,  my husband was in her backyard with his pants down and my brother-in-law was in my yard with his pants down!  Once again if you don’t know about “the game” rent the movie Waiting.  BTW we amended the rules when it comes to members of the opposite sex mooning is okay since the ladies are at a disadvantage.  I was gotten by Ana’s husband in my own backyard so the ladies are plotting revenge!  It’s on!

There was a little tidbit on the Peoria Chronicle about what teenage binge drinkers prefer as opposed to adult binge drinkers. That started me thinking, the adults in our neighborhood drink about everything (beer, tequila, rum, wine, vodka, etc.) so what does that make us? FUN!!!