Dear Cashcows,
We are taking this opportunity to pat ourselves on the back for doing our jobs. We just raised your rates but Hey, we contribute to the community for the tax write offs.
Once again the city is considering taking us over. Don’t let this happen! It is our job to bend you over for your water needs. The city gets to bend you over for other reasons. Don’t take this away from us! Either way you get bent over but we promise to use lube. Thanks for paying us for a necessity of life.
P.S. This was totally paid for at ratepayer’s expense!

After I finished the letter I went to put it back in the envelope. The cherry on top of this bullshit sundae is that there was a pube in the envelope. Thanks, Illinois American Water!