Askewed News » New Years http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com Sarcasm you can depend on! Wed, 13 May 2009 21:28:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 New Years Resolutions in the East Bluff http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com/2007/12/31/new-years-resolutions-in-the-east-bluff/ http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com/2007/12/31/new-years-resolutions-in-the-east-bluff/#comments Tue, 01 Jan 2008 02:20:36 +0000 eastbluffbarbie http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com/2007/12/31/new-years-resolutions-in-the-east-bluff/ Many people make New Years Resolutions. Some are kept. Some aren’t. Here are some that I am sure will be heard in the good old East Bluff:

Quit teasing the animals at Glen Oak Zoo. If a tiger in San Francisco can attacked when provoked, the paint chip eating geniuses around here are as good as doomed.

Mow the grass before the “Notice to Abate” sign is posted by code enforcement.

Make drivers only wait 3 minutes for all the kids to move out of the middle of the street instead of 5-10 minutes.

Go green! Start recycling empty 40 ouncers of Mickey’s instead of tossing them in a random yard.

Ringing the Ghetto door bell (parking in the middle of the street and honking until someone comes out, usually a 20 minute process) only 6 times instead of 15.

Knowing the names of all your illegitimate children and their mothers.

Hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year! May you be able to keep your resolutions! :)

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