Askewed News » Turtles http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com Sarcasm you can depend on! Wed, 13 May 2009 21:28:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 Double your pleasure! http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com/2007/09/28/double-your-pleasure/ http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com/2007/09/28/double-your-pleasure/#comments Fri, 28 Sep 2007 15:11:41 +0000 http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com/2007/09/28/double-your-pleasure/ For everyone who is now contemplating putting turtles in their mouths:

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]]> http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com/2007/09/28/double-your-pleasure/feed/ 2 Pssst! Hey kid want a turtle? http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com/2007/09/27/pssst-hey-kid-want-a-turtle/ http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com/2007/09/27/pssst-hey-kid-want-a-turtle/#comments Thu, 27 Sep 2007 17:30:03 +0000 http://askewednews.blogpeoria.com/2007/09/27/pssst-hey-kid-want-a-turtle/ Yesterday in the Journal Star there was an article about a man getting busted for selling undersized turtles. In the seventies they made a law that made it illegal to sell turtles under four inches because stupid kids would put them in their mouths and get sick. First item of disclosure, I had turtles as pets growing up. It never occured to me to put a turtle in my mouth because my parents raised me to have common sense. My brother never put a turtle in his mouth, once again that common sense thing. It sucks that stupidity has to be legislated. In the past, idiots putting turtles in their mouths may have been seen as natural selection.

Since undersized turtles are such a crime fighting priority, I now have a new approach for getting rid of the drug houses in the neighborhood. Since the police don’t care if the area residents are offered drugs and have to put up with the bullshit that goes along with having a major drug supply house for the city a few blocks down and over (an officer informed us of that), I am just going to start calling the police to report turtle selling. That seems to get their attention and nets results. So drug/turtle dealers you are officially on notice. Selling turtles doesn’t play in Peoria but drugs, hey, what the hell!

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