Saturday night I was at my brother’s “surprise” party. When I got home there was a message from someone I went to grade school with on my answering machine. She asked if I still had this number and to call back. Then I noticed on the caller i.d. that she called 6 times in a 2 hour period! So now I am left to wonder what type of can of worms I’ll be opening up by calling her back. I’m unsure what to do. Usually I’m thrilled to catch up with an old friend and have done so recently but for some reason I’m really unsure about this one.

The other day I get a phone call asking for “Brandy”. I tell the person, I was unable to tell if it was a man or a woman, that there is no “Brandy” at this number. He/She said that he/she is sure that he/she butchered the name and would spell the last name in fear of butchering it. So she spells out my last name C-A-R-T-E-R. If you can’t pronounce Carter, I think a career in telemarketing isn’t for you until you use your paycheck to buy Hooked on Phonics. So tell he/she that the last name is correct but no “Brandy” here. Then he/she spells the first name and it is my husband’s first name. I tell her how to pronounce it and that he isn’t avaliable. So he/she starts his/her pitch about going back to school and continuing our education. I already spent 5 minutes teaching this moron how to read so I feel a bit committed to hear the speech. He/She asks me what I want to do with my life. I reply that I have no direction and don’t know. Then he/she hands me off to the supervisor to figure it out. Now I decide to make this fun. The supervisor, definately a woman, asks me what I want to do with myself and I tell her about my lack of direction, motivation, etc. Then she asks if I like various fields, business, accounting, sales, kids, etc. So I told her I like beer. I was told they couldn’t help me and to have a nice day.

Death either brings out the best in people or the greedy, asshattery worse. My husband’s best friend from school has been in town while his mother has been dying. This is been very hard on him. His mom’s husband has been being a mega jackass. He’s been extremely concerned about the hospital bills he’ll be “stuck” with and has been verbal about it to the family and friends.

Since his mom has died, Brad’s friend has been cut out of any decisions about the arrangements for his mother’s funeral by his stepdad. Because of his (the stepdad’s) greedy/tightassery, the visitation is “by invitation only” (pretty much no one is invited) and there is going to be a short graveside service. The only way he could have gotten off any cheaper is if he ran down to Walmart and got a box of Hefty bags.

Even though holding my tongue will be like being punched in the taint, I will do it. I’m doing it for the rest of the family. They’ve been through enough suffering. They’ve lost a daughter, sister, mother, aunt, grandmother and friend. May she rest in peace.

Now we can’t even bring up a simple get-together without a blow up, everyone gathering allies, and stock piling ammunition in the form of every stupid thing ever said by a person on the world wide web. I don’t care where you post, who you are or think you are or who your friends are. I am quite capable of forming my own opinions about people and situations without needing the approval of others.

Who am I to say what someone should or shouldn’t blog about? It is their blog. I don’t agree with every blogger or post but you know what? No one is putting a gun to my head and forcing me to read or comment. If Peoria AntiPundit wants to throw a few shit bombs at people who am I to stop him? I must admit sometimes I quite enjoy throwing the old shit bomb myself and understand that I am accountable for every shit bomb I throw. If Billy Dennis wants to turn the Peoria Pundit into the Aaron Schock fan club that is his business. Just because I don’t care that Aaron took a shit today and that it had corn in it doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone who does. What happen to agreeing to disagree and going on with life? Please don’t make this crude, cussing, self-righteous, malcontent hippy have to be the mature one ever again!

B is for Bribery

B is Baggery of the Douche variety

and finally B is for Butt rape (if all of us down staters get our wish!)

Honestly did anyone outside of Chicago vote for this fuckstick?

I’m going to become a trail advocate. I’ll put on some spandex shorts and strap myself to the rail line. Having somewhere, other than parks and your own neighborhoods, to walk is more important than a viable rail service anyday.

I’m going to start an urban outreach program called Hugs for Thugs. I’ll wander the streets of Peoria hugging wayward youth. Hugs not Drugs!!

I’ll quit pointing out stupidity and hypocrisy because I’m sure these people can’t help it. They know not what they say or do. Instead I will give love and kind words.

I’m sure the world will be a much better place now! Peace to you my brothers and sisters.

I think this says it all!!